In the past, and at my lowest points, I took to writing regular "rants" in a similar blog style on myspace. However, once I thought my demons had been overcome I deleted that myspace account, and with it all my ramblings from the darkest depths of my mind.
In a way I wish I hadn't done that, as I often feel the urge to look back and reflect, perhaps to make me feel better, perhaps worse, but ultimately just to remember how I felt back then.
Since then, I have become an almost Facebook "addict" and regularly updated status with my most blunt of thoughts and feelings. I have restrained from doing that lately as far more people see my facebook statuses (Statusi!?) than ever read my myspace blogs, and actually start to realise that maybe I am actually a little bit psychotic, and not the calm (sometimes grumpy) individual I try so hard to appear to be.
Here are my most recent, and relatively tame statuses:
(I really am restrained. Honest)
Today
Tony is the most psychotic of swans.11:33pm
Tony feels low.10:03pm
Tony is off to feed the George...5:32pm
Yesterday
Tony has a migraine.7:52pm
Tony can't relax let alone sleep! Always having more than one concurrent train of thought is annoying, but more than 2 is simply ridiculous...12:02am
July 9
Tony needs sleep...1:47am
July 8
Tony is offering £100 for a lift from Luton!!!!!10:42am
Tony has missed his flight. Fuck.9:36am
July 7
Tony will be in Auschwitz and Birkenau today.2:11pm
Tony is off to auschwitz with a stereotyping plum!10:26am
July 5
Tony is in Krakow, with the sunshine!10:48am
Tony is up, and off to the airport...4:48am
July 4
Tony is already at work. Long day ahead, and an early flight after :(.7:35am
July 2
Tony is yawning constantly.8:21pm
July 1
Tony is a bit bored, waiting in A&E. I thought this was all in the past!!3:34pm
June 30
Tony is full of fajitas!!!7:10pm
June 29
Tony didn't gain much comfort from the bad food.10:26pm
Tony is comfort eating.8:33pm
June 28
Tony is quite comfy, and relaxed.12:24pm
June 27
Tony does, ashamedly, like the 'Grease' soundtrack..!8:53pm
Tony Thought butlins was rough. He wasn't wrong.6:35pm
Tony is in 1st gear, still in Weston...4:03pm
Tony is off to Butlins. Hmmmmm...3:20pm
June 26
Tony loves coffee, and doesn't care that it's bad for him!12:32pm
June 25
Tony is, unexpectedly, on his way to see Bon Jovi!4:32pm
June 23
Tony is in bed...Zzzz...10:53pm
June 22
Tony starts from square one again today...11:54pm
Tony is in bed already.9:54pm
Tony is watching the AMERICAN Life on Mars! Weird.1:11pm
June 20
Tony is not impressed with the grey skies.3:42pm
June 19
Tony is a in permanent state of cognitive dissonance.11:45pm
Tony is in bed.11:38pm
Tony doesn't generally give long answers to closed questions ;).11:06pm
Tony is going to be lazy and indulgent this summer's eve...7:01pm
June 18
Tony is achey.3:34pm
Tony woke up 2 hours before his alarm.10:25am
June 17
Tony "I'm one card short of a full deck".11:02pm
Tony isn't quite the ticket.10:59pm
June 16
Tony is in need of rejuvenation.8:02am
June 15
Tony is fuzzy.12:16pm
June 14
Tony off to Alton Towers.8:08am
June 13
Tony is in bed ready for an early start.10:16pm
Tony couldn't be much angrier.8:22pm
Tony It's Been Emotional.2:18pm
June 12
Tony feels the weight of the world.11:39pm
Tony is looking mighty fine. Even if he does say so himself!4:35pm
June 11
Tony has whiplash from his bungee jump!8:19pm
June 10
Tony needs lengthy, uninterrupted sleep. Please.11:07pm
Tony is fat.10:02pm
Tony is irritated with melodramatic kids.5:33pm
Tony is reading about law and stuff. Reet clever like.9:04am
June 9
Tony is in bed.10:17pm
